Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
