But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
