took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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