Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
