Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
