Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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