It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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