I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
