yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
