YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
did you just send me my own nude
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
