is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
