They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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