new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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