So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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