the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
