sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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