Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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