Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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