i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
