I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
