Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she looked like the before picture.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
