Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize