my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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