evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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