sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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