I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
