I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
