You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
