I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
