it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
