we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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