Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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