so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
