You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
