I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
