That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
