i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
