i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
