I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have fence marks all over my body
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
