we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
