At least make sure they are 18
Why
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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