I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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