oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize