Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
