Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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