Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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