I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
