You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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