but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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