yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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