Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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