He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
