The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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