I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Less talking, more tequila
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
