She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
