I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
