tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
