Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize