I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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