Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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