I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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