i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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