clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
