I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
