He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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