I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
