What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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