hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
