8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
